Hey there, beautiful souls. Today, I’m doing something different. I’m stripping away the polished exterior and getting raw with you about something that’s been weighing heavily on my heart. Let’s get real for a moment. I’m going to share some of the midlife trauma and healing I’m working through right now.

Midlife isn’t always the empowering, confident journey we see on Instagram. Sometimes, it’s messy. Sometimes, it’s painful. And sometimes, it requires us to dig deep into wounds we thought we’d already healed.

Two weeks ago, I hit an emotional wall. Hard.

It started with a lunch with my incredible group of women friends – the kind of friends who see you, truly see you, even when you’re trying to hide. I walked in feeling heavy, carrying this unexplained sadness that had been brewing for weeks. And then, without warning, I broke down.

“I feel like everything I’m doing is ridiculous,” I heard myself say, tears streaming down my face.

Those words weren’t just words. They were decades of unresolved trauma bubbling to the surface – specifically, my complicated relationship with my father.

Here’s the truth bomb: healing isn’t linear. Just because you’ve been to therapy, journaled, and had difficult conversations doesn’t mean the work is done. Childhood trauma leaves an imprint that doesn’t simply disappear with one therapy session or one confrontational conversation.

My journey with healing began 25 years ago during my fertility treatments. Two years of IVF, a miscarriage, and multiple surgeries forced me to confront the emotional baggage I’d been carrying. But here’s what I’ve learned: those wounds don’t just close up and disappear. They ebb and flow, sometimes showing up when you least expect them.

My friend Sand, who’s trained in Internal Family Systems, reminded me that for women, healing isn’t a straight line. It’s curvy. It zigs and zags. And that’s okay.

I’m not sharing this to bring you down. I’m sharing this because if my vulnerability helps even one person feel less alone, then it’s worth it.

Right now, I’m exploring new healing methods. I’m considering micro-dosing psilocybin. I’m journaling. I’m having hard conversations. Because I refuse to let unresolved trauma dictate my midlife journey.

To all the women out there feeling stuck, misunderstood, or overwhelmed: you are not alone. Your feelings are valid. Your pain is real. And you are absolutely not too old to heal, to grow, to transform.

We’re living in unprecedented times. For thousands of years, humans lived in communities, supporting each other. Now, we’re isolated, medicated, and struggling. But we don’t have to stay that way.

My call to action for you? Feel your feelings. Don’t numb them. Seek support. Be vulnerable. Ask for help.

I almost didn’t go to that lunch. I almost didn’t record this podcast. But something inside me knew that sharing, connecting, being real was more important than looking perfect.

You’re not alone. Your trauma doesn’t define you. And you are so fucking worthy of healing.

Keep showing up. Keep fighting. Keep loving yourself.

You’ve got this. And I’ve got you.

Jen Says: You’re Not Too F***ing Old! to do what you need to do to feel good.

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Unedited AI Transcript Here

LINKS MENTIONED:

Episode 137 with Sand Symes

Episode 202 with Terri Cole