This Best Of replay features Sand Symes, the only medicine woman I’ve ever had on the show, and she’s about to completely shift how you think about healing, triggers, and your own inner power. Sand’s journey from seeing spirits as a child to becoming a modern shamanic practitioner is absolutely captivating, but what will blow your mind is her framework of “sun medicines” and “moon medicines” – and how understanding both can transform every relationship in your life, including the most important one with yourself.
If you’ve ever wondered why certain people trigger you, felt disconnected from your body, or struggled with that voice in your head that says you’re not enough, Sand provides answers that will change everything. She shares practical tools you can use tonight (literally in your bed) plus powerful breathing techniques. This conversation goes deep into ancestral healing, finding your true gifts, and why the wisdom you’ve gained through all your “mistakes” is actually your greatest superpower.
Key Takeaways:
• The mirror principle: Why the people who trigger you most are showing you exactly what you need to heal (and it’s not what you think)
• Sun and moon medicines: How to identify your true gifts versus the qualities others told you to have – and why your “negative” traits are actually medicine too
• The ancestral connection: How patterns from generations past are still running your life and what you can do about it
• The power of embodied practices: Simple techniques to reconnect with your body and calm your nervous system when life feels overwhelming
• Midnight medicine: A bedtime practice that will transform how you talk to yourself and heal your inner child
Sand Says: You’re Not Too F***ing Old! To live the best f***ing years of my life!
Your Inner Medicine Woman: A Guide to Healing From Within with Sand Symes
Based on insights shared by Sand Symes, modern medicine woman and shamanic practitioner
Introduction
You wake up tired. You go to bed exhausted. Somewhere between the morning coffee and the evening collapse, you wonder: “Is this it? Is this my life?”
If you’re a woman in midlife feeling stuck, burnt out, or disconnected from who you really are, you’re not alone. But here’s what most people don’t tell you: you already carry everything you need to heal yourself.
This article reveals ancient wisdom that’s been forgotten in our modern world. You’ll discover how to access your natural healing gifts – what shamanic traditions call your “medicines” – and use them to break free from old patterns that keep you stuck.
This isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you’ve always been underneath all the roles, expectations, and conditioning. It’s about stepping into your power as your own healer.
Prerequisites
Are You Ready for This?
This approach makes sense for you if:
- You feel like you’re going through the motions but missing the magic
- You get triggered by certain people or situations and don’t know why
- You sense there’s more to life but can’t quite reach it
- You’re tired of quick fixes that don’t create lasting change
- You’re ready to look honestly at both your gifts and your shadows
This might not be right for you if you’re looking for someone else to fix you or if you’re not willing to do inner work. The path of self-healing requires courage and commitment.
Step-by-Step Guide
Step 1: Understand Your Sun and Moon Medicines
Most people think healing means fixing what’s broken. But what if nothing is actually broken? What if you simply forgot how to use the tools you were born with? Every woman carries two types of natural medicines within her: sun medicines and moon medicines. Your sun medicines are your natural gifts – things like compassion, generosity, wisdom, or strength. These are the qualities that light you up and feel effortless when you use them. Your moon medicines are your shadow aspects – anger, jealousy, fear, or frustration. Here’s the secret most people miss: your moon medicines aren’t problems to fix. They’re powerful teachers that show you where healing is needed. Just like the moon needs the sun to be visible, your shadow aspects need your gifts to illuminate them. When you try to hide or suppress your moon medicines, they leak out in unhealthy ways. But when you acknowledge them with compassion, they become gateways to deeper wisdom and authentic power.
Key insight: You need both your light and shadow aspects to be whole. Trying to be “all light” keeps you stuck in spiritual bypassing and prevents real healing.
Essential points to remember:
• Your “negative” emotions are medicines, not problems to fix
• Shadow work isn’t about eliminating difficult feelings
• Both gifts and challenges serve your healing journey
• Wholeness comes from integration, not perfection
• Your triggers point to your greatest growth opportunities
Step 2: Discover Your Natural Gifts Through Two Simple Questions
You might think you don’t know what your gifts are, but you do. You’ve just been trained to look outside yourself for validation instead of trusting your inner knowing. Society teaches us to focus on our flaws and fix what’s wrong, so we lose touch with our natural strengths. The problem is that when you don’t know your medicines, you can’t use them consciously. You end up feeling lost, powerless, and dependent on others for healing. But your gifts have been showing up your whole life – you just need to recognize them. The first question reveals gifts others see in you: “What do people consistently tell me they love or appreciate about me?” The second question is more powerful: “What do I deeply admire in others that I don’t think I have myself?” This works because you can only recognize a quality if you carry it within you. That person’s courage you admire? You have it too. Their compassion? It’s in you. Their strength? You carry that medicine as well. If you couldn’t see it, you wouldn’t be drawn to it.
Key insight: You can only see in others what already exists within you. Your admiration is your inner wisdom pointing toward gifts you haven’t fully claimed yet.
Essential points to remember:
• Your gifts have been showing up your whole life
• What you see in others reflects your own potential
• Stop looking outside for validation of your worth
• Trust what people consistently tell you about yourself
• Your admiration reveals hidden aspects of your power
• Recognition is the first step to conscious use of your gifts
Step 3: Heal Ancestral Patterns at Their Root
You’ve probably tried therapy, self-help books, or personal development courses but still find yourself repeating the same patterns. That’s because most healing approaches only address surface symptoms, not root causes. Many of the toxic patterns you struggle with aren’t even yours – they’re inherited through your family line. Your ancestors lived through wars, famines, traumas, and violations that created survival patterns. These patterns got passed down through what science calls epigenetics – the inheritance of emotional and behavioral traits. So when you feel unworthy, anxious, or stuck in limiting beliefs, you might be carrying wounds that began generations before you were born. Traditional therapy focuses on your childhood, which is important. But ancestral healing goes deeper. It asks your family line to release patterns so you don’t have to carry them forward. This doesn’t mean blaming your ancestors – they did the best they could with what they had. It means honoring their struggles while choosing to break cycles that no longer serve you or future generations.
Key insight: Many of your deepest patterns aren’t originally yours. True healing addresses generational wounds, not just personal ones.
Essential points to remember:
• Your family history lives in your nervous system
• Patterns can skip generations then show up in you
• You can heal lineage wounds without knowing specific details
• Breaking ancestral patterns heals backward and forward in time
• You don’t need to understand everything to release what’s not yours
• Honor your ancestors while choosing different patterns
Step 4: Reset Your Nervous System With Conscious Breathing
Your nervous system holds the key to everything – your emotions, reactions, patterns, and ability to heal. But if you’re living a stressful life (and who isn’t?), your nervous system thinks you’re in constant danger. This creates shallow breathing, which tells your body to stay in fight-or-flight mode. When you’re in survival mode, you can’t access your higher brain functions, creativity, or natural healing abilities. You react from old patterns instead of responding from wisdom. The four-box breath is a simple but powerful tool that was developed for soldiers with PTSD. It works by regulating your nervous system and telling your body it’s safe. Here’s how: breathe in for four counts, hold for four, breathe out for four, hold for four. Repeat this cycle three to four times whenever you feel stressed, triggered, or overwhelmed. If the full pattern feels too intense, start simpler: breathe in through your nose for four counts, then breathe out through your mouth for four counts. The key is consistency. Use this tool multiple times throughout your day, not just during crisis moments.
Key insight: Your breath is the fastest way to shift from survival mode to healing mode. When you change your breathing, you change everything.
Essential points to remember:
• Shallow breathing keeps you stuck in survival mode
• Your nervous system responds immediately to conscious breathing
• Practice when calm, not just when stressed
• Consistency matters more than perfection
• Start simple and build the practice gradually
• Your breath is always available as a reset button
Step 5: Practice Radical Self-Compassion With Bedtime Rituals
You spend your days taking care of everyone else but rarely nurture yourself with the same tenderness. Most women have an inner critic that runs a constant commentary of what’s wrong, what needs fixing, and how they’re not enough. This internal voice often sounds like childhood messages from parents, teachers, or society about how you should be. The problem is that your nervous system and inner child parts are always listening to this internal dialogue. When you constantly criticize yourself, you create internal stress and reinforce old wounds. But when you consciously offer yourself compassion, you literally rewire your brain for self-love and healing.
The bedtime practice is simple but transformative: place your hands somewhere on your body as you lie down to sleep. This could be your heart, belly, or simply giving yourself a hug. Then speak to yourself the way you would to a beloved friend. Say things like “You did a great job today,” “I love you,” or “Thank you for taking care of everything.” Find one specific thing you did well that day, no matter how small. At first, this might feel awkward or fake. That’s normal. Keep practicing anyway. Your inner child parts – the wounded aspects that drive your patterns – need to hear this loving voice.
Key insight: Self-compassion isn’t selfish – it’s essential. You can’t heal from a place of self-judgment and criticism.
Essential points to remember:
• Your inner child is always listening to your internal dialogue
• Physical touch activates your body’s natural healing response
• Start small with one thing you appreciate about yourself
• Consistency transforms awkwardness into authentic self-love
• This practice rewires your brain for compassion instead of criticism
• You deserve the same kindness you give others
Step 6: Transform Triggers Into Healing Opportunities
Every time someone triggers you, they’re doing you a favor. They’re showing you exactly where your healing work needs to happen. But most people waste these golden opportunities by either attacking the other person or stuffing their emotions down. Triggers happen when someone activates an unhealed part of you – usually a wounded inner child part that formed during childhood. Instead of seeing triggers as problems, start viewing them as messengers pointing toward your medicine work.
When you feel that familiar surge of anger, jealousy, or insecurity, pause and get curious instead of reactive. Ask yourself: “What part of me feels threatened right now? What does this remind me of? What would my wisest self do in this moment?” Then use your sun medicines – your natural gifts of compassion, wisdom, or strength – to comfort the triggered part. Speak to that inner child the way you would to any hurt child: with tenderness, understanding, and protection. This doesn’t mean becoming a doormat or accepting poor treatment. It means responding from your adult wisdom instead of your wounded child reactions.
Key insight: Triggers aren’t inconveniences – they’re invitations. Each trigger shows you exactly where your healing power is needed most.
Essential points to remember:
• Every trigger points to an opportunity for healing
• Your reactions come from wounded child parts, not your adult self
• Pause and get curious instead of immediately reactive
• Use your gifts to comfort your triggered inner parts
• Healing happens when you respond from wisdom, not wounds
• Other people are mirrors showing you your internal landscape
Conclusion
The path of the inner medicine woman isn’t about perfection or having it all figured out. It’s about remembering that you are both human and divine, wounded and wise, shadow and light.
You don’t need another guru, course, or certification to access your healing power. You need to remember what you’ve always known but forgot along the way: you are your own healer.
Your medicines – both sun and moon – are not accidents. They’re the exact tools you need for this lifetime’s healing journey. Your triggers aren’t your enemies; they’re your teachers. Your breath isn’t just automatic; it’s your constant companion for nervous system regulation. Your capacity for self-compassion isn’t weakness; it’s the foundation of all healing.
Here’s how to integrate these practices starting today:
- Morning awareness: Ask yourself “How can I use my medicines today?” before you get out of bed
- Midday reset: Use the four-box breath whenever you feel stressed or overwhelmed
- Trigger transformation: When someone pushes your buttons, pause and ask “What is this showing me?”
- Evening compassion: Place hands on your body each night and acknowledge one thing you did well
- Weekly reflection: Journal about what patterns you notice and what ancestral healing feels needed
Remember: this work isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about peeling away everything that isn’t you until only your authentic essence remains. That essence is powerful, wise, and whole – not because you fixed yourself, but because you remembered who you’ve always been.
Your liberation doesn’t just heal you. It heals your lineage backward and forward in time. It gives permission for other women to step into their power too.
The world needs your particular medicine. It always has.
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