This Best Of replay features Erin Gallagher, the powerhouse founder of the Hype Women movement that went viral after Jamie Lee Curtis’s pure joy celebrating Michelle Yeoh’s Golden Globe win. Erin turned that iconic moment into a global call for women to stop seeing each other as competition and start becoming each other’s biggest cheerleaders. From creating Fairway dinners to launching a movement that’s reshaping how we support one another, Erin is proof that when women collaborate instead of compete, we all rise!
If you’ve ever caught yourself feeling jealous of another woman’s success or struggled to celebrate wins that aren’t your own, this conversation will transform how you show up in the world. Erin breaks down the conditioning that’s taught us scarcity thinking, shares tactical ways to become a hype woman, and reveals why the patriarchal system benefits when women fight each other instead of lifting each other up. Plus, she gets real about turning 40, finding her voice, and why she’s done caring what people think.
Key Takeaways:
- The hype women blueprint: How to deprogram from seeing other women as competition and start celebrating their wins daily
- From jealousy to inspiration: The difference between “I want what you have” vs “I don’t want you to have what you have”
- Access over ability: Why women’s lack of representation has nothing to do with talent and everything to do with being excluded from the boys’ club
- Midlife freedom: Why turning 40 unleashed Erin’s authentic voice and why not caring what people think is the ultimate superpower
Erin says: YNTFO to Hype Women!
Erin’s new book Hype Women is available for pre-order HERE!
How to Stop Competing with Other Women and Become Hype Women
Something is broken in how women relate to each other. You know that feeling when you see another woman succeed and your first thought isn’t celebration—it’s comparison. Why her and not me? What does she have that I don’t? You’re not alone in this struggle, and more importantly, it’s not your fault.
This toxic pattern of seeing other women as threats instead of allies has been programmed into us by systems designed to keep us fighting for scraps while others claim the whole pie. Based on insights from women’s empowerment advocate Erin Gallagher, this article will show you how to break free from this destructive conditioning and become part of a movement that changes everything.
This content is for any woman who has ever felt that pang of jealousy when seeing another woman’s success, who struggles with imposter syndrome in female-dominated spaces, or who wants to be part of the solution instead of perpetuating the problem. It matters because when women genuinely support each other, we don’t just change individual lives—we change the world.
Are you ready for this transformation? This journey requires brutal honesty about your own conditioning and a willingness to do uncomfortable inner work. You’ll need to examine thoughts and reactions you might prefer to ignore. This makes sense for you if you’re tired of the internal competition narrative and ready to experience what genuine female solidarity feels like.
Step-by-Step Guide
Step 1: Recognize the Programming Behind Female Competition
The first step to breaking free is understanding that your competitive feelings toward other women aren’t natural—they’re manufactured. For centuries, patriarchal systems have deliberately fostered competition between women by creating artificial scarcity. When there’s only one spot at the table, of course women fight each other for it instead of demanding more chairs. This conditioning runs so deep that most women don’t even realize it’s happening. You’ve been taught that another woman’s success somehow diminishes your opportunities, that there’s a finite amount of achievement to go around, and that celebrating other women means less celebration for you. This scarcity mindset keeps women focused on internal battles while others sail past us to claim positions of real power and influence.
Key insight: Your competitive thoughts about other women are learned behavior, not natural instinct.
Action steps:
- Notice when you have competitive thoughts about other women
- Remind yourself: “Of course I think this way—I’ve been taught to”
- Question the scarcity assumption behind every jealous thought
- Remember that women make up 51% of the population—there’s room for all of us
- Start viewing other women’s success as proof of what’s possible for you too
Step 2: Practice the Daily Celebration Habit
The antidote to competition conditioning is intentional celebration. This means making a conscious choice every single day to say something positive about another woman—either to her directly or about her to others. This practice feels awkward at first because it goes against everything you’ve been conditioned to do. Your brain will resist because it’s wired to see other women as threats to your own success. But here’s what happens when you push through that resistance: you start rewiring your neural pathways from scarcity to abundance thinking. The more you practice celebrating others, the more natural it becomes, and the more you start to see opportunities for collaboration instead of competition. This daily habit creates a compound effect that transforms not just your relationships with other women, but your entire mindset about success and achievement.
Key insight: Daily celebration practice rewires your brain from scarcity to abundance thinking.
Action steps:
- Commit to celebrating one woman daily (online or in person)
- Start with simple compliments or acknowledgments
- Share other women’s achievements on social media
- Send encouraging messages to women in your network
- Practice saying positive things about women when they’re not present
- Use celebration as a tool to build genuine connections
Step 3: Catch Yourself in Comparison Mode
The moment you catch yourself comparing or feeling jealous of another woman is your golden opportunity for transformation. Instead of feeling guilty about these thoughts, use them as information. This comparison instinct is your conditioning speaking, and now you get to choose a different response. The key is to recognize these thoughts without judgment—they’re not evil, they’re just learned patterns that no longer serve you. When you feel that familiar pang of “why her and not me,” take a deep breath and ask yourself what this woman’s success can teach you about your own possibilities. Maybe she got that promotion because she advocated for herself in a way you haven’t tried yet. Maybe her business succeeded because she solved a problem you could solve too. Transform your jealousy into curiosity, and your envy into inspiration.
Key insight: Jealousy is information about what you want to create in your own life.
Action steps:
- Notice comparison thoughts without judging yourself
- Ask “What can I learn from her success?”
- Use jealousy as a roadmap for your own goals
- Transform “Why her?” into “How can I create this too?”
- Practice gratitude for examples of what’s possible
- Channel competitive energy into personal growth
Step 4: Stop Working for Free and Value Your Time
One of the biggest ways women undermine each other (and themselves) is by devaluing their own time and expertise. When you work for free, speak without compensation, or let people “pick your brain” over coffee, you’re perpetuating a system that treats women’s knowledge as worthless. This conditioning runs deep—you’ve been told that if you care about something, you should do it for free. Meanwhile, men’s time and ideas are treated as precious commodities that command payment. Breaking this pattern requires you to see your expertise as valuable and to charge accordingly. This isn’t just about your own financial success—when you value your time, you make it easier for other women to do the same. You’re modeling what it looks like to respect women’s knowledge and contributions.
Key insight: Valuing your time properly creates space for other women to do the same.
Action steps:
- Set clear boundaries around free consultations and advice
- Charge appropriately for your expertise and services
- Stop doing unpaid labor on boards and committees
- Model fair compensation in your business dealings
- Support other women by paying them fairly for their work
- Decline requests that don’t value your time appropriately
Step 5: Create Spaces for Authentic Female Connection
Traditional networking often fails women because it follows masculine patterns that don’t feel natural or safe for female relationship-building. Instead of trying to fit into existing structures, create new spaces where women can connect authentically and do business together. This means moving beyond surface-level networking to deeper conversations about challenges, goals, and genuine collaboration opportunities. The magic happens when you bring together women at different career stages—executives, rising professionals, and entrepreneurs—because they can actually help each other in meaningful ways. Create environments where women feel safe to share their real struggles and authentic ambitions, not just their polished professional personas. These connections become the foundation for long-term collaboration and mutual support.
Key insight: Authentic female connection happens in spaces designed for women’s natural relationship styles.
Action steps:
- Host or join women-focused networking events
- Create small, intimate gatherings for deeper connection
- Mix women from different career stages and industries
- Focus on genuine relationship building over transactional networking
- Share your own challenges and goals authentically
- Follow up with real collaboration opportunities
Step 6: Heal Your Relationship with Yourself First
The most radical thing you can do for other women is to heal your relationship with yourself. You cannot pour genuine celebration and support into others when you’re running on empty or speaking to yourself with cruelty and criticism. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for how you’ll treat other women. If you’re constantly criticizing your appearance, doubting your abilities, or minimizing your achievements, you’ll unconsciously do the same to other women. Self-healing isn’t selfish—it’s the foundation that makes authentic support of others possible. When you learn to speak to yourself with kindness, celebrate your own wins, and acknowledge your worth, you create space to do the same for others without resentment or hidden agenda.
Key insight: Your relationship with yourself determines your capacity to genuinely support other women.
Action steps:
- Practice positive self-talk and self-compassion
- Celebrate your own achievements regularly
- Invest in your personal growth and healing
- Set boundaries that protect your energy and well-being
- Surround yourself with people who support your growth
- Address underlying insecurities that fuel competitive thoughts
Conclusion
The path from competition to collaboration isn’t just about changing how you interact with other women—it’s about recognizing and dismantling the systems that taught you to see them as threats in the first place. When you understand that your competitive thoughts are programmed responses rather than natural instincts, you can begin to choose different reactions.
The transformation happens through consistent daily practice: celebrating other women, catching yourself in comparison mode, valuing your own worth, creating authentic connection spaces, and healing your relationship with yourself. Each small action contributes to a larger shift that benefits not just you, but every woman in your sphere of influence.
Your implementation steps:
- Start today with celebrating one woman in your network
- Notice your thoughts when you see other women succeed
- Set boundaries around your time and expertise
- Seek or create authentic female connection opportunities
- Invest in your own healing and personal growth
- Practice daily until celebration becomes your default response
Remember: when women genuinely support each other instead of competing, we don’t just change our individual experiences—we change the entire game. The question isn’t whether you’re capable of this transformation. The question is whether you’re ready to be part of the solution.
Learn more about Jen Marples at https://www.jenmarples.com
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Unedited AI Transcript Here
CONNECT WITH ERIN GALLAGHER:
https://www.hypewomen.com (pre-order Erin’s new book Hype Women!)
