This is my last episode of the year (see you in 2026!), and I’m getting real with you about something that’s been weighing on me: how and why we give up our power. After a recent incident that left me asking “why didn’t I just walk away?”, I did some deep reflection on why we still feel compelled to answer pointed questions, keep the peace at all costs, and put ourselves in uncomfortable situations just to avoid rocking the boat.

Here’s what I know after 56 years: we’ve been conditioned since youth to not speak up, to keep the peace, and to feel like we owe people our opinions, answers, and presence. But here’s the truth: we’re too f’ing old for this! This episode isn’t about blaming anyone else or burning bridges. It’s about recognizing where we’re losing our power and understanding why, so we can do things differently moving forward. Whether it’s at the holiday table, in friendships, at work, or even in our marriages (yes, I’m referencing that recent New York Magazine article on women quietly quitting their marriages), it’s time to reclaim our power!

Listen if you want to:

• Understand why you feel compelled to stay in uncomfortable situations instead of walking away
• Learn how to gracefully reclaim your power without burning bridges or blowing up families
• Get a year-end reflection assignment that will help you identify where you’ve been giving up your power
• Discover why changing relationship dynamics is so hard (and why that’s okay)
• Start 2026 ready to stand up for yourself with grace and balance

Jen Says: YNTFO to walk away!

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Unedited AI Transcript Here

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Where Are We Losing Our Power? A Midlife Woman’s Guide to Reclaiming What’s Yours

Picture this: You’re sitting at the holiday table. Someone asks you a pointed question—one that feels more like an interrogation than genuine curiosity. Your stomach tightens. You know you don’t owe them an answer. You could walk away. You should walk away. But instead, you hear yourself responding, explaining, justifying. Later, you replay the moment in your mind and think, “Why didn’t I just leave?”

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And if you’re a woman in midlife, you’re especially not alone.

Here’s what nobody talks about: We’ve spent decades being conditioned to keep the peace, maintain harmony, and put everyone else’s comfort above our own boundaries. We’ve been taught that speaking up means causing drama. That walking away means we’re difficult. That protecting our own peace is somehow selfish.

But here’s the truth that will change everything: You don’t owe anyone your answers, your explanations, or your presence—especially when they make you feel small.

This article is for every woman who has stayed in an uncomfortable conversation longer than she should have. For every woman who has quietly endured a relationship that drains her. For every woman who looks back on her year and realizes she gave away her power more times than she’d like to admit.

The question isn’t whether you’ve done this. The question is: Are you ready to stop?

Why Smart, Strong Women Still Give Up Their Power

You would think that by midlife, we’d have this figured out. You’re successful. You’re intelligent. You’ve built a life, a career, maybe raised kids. You’re not a pushover. So why do you still find yourself in situations where you can’t seem to stand up for yourself?

The answer is simpler and more complicated than you think. From the time you were a little girl, you were taught to be nice. To be agreeable. To smooth things over. To make everyone comfortable. This programming runs deep. It’s not just in your head—it’s in your nervous system. It’s been reinforced for 40, 50, 60 years through every interaction, every family dinner, every workplace dynamic, every friendship where you bit your tongue to avoid conflict. Even when you know better intellectually, your body still defaults to these old patterns. You freeze. You people-please. You explain yourself to people who have no right to an explanation. You stay when you should go.

The Real Cost of Keeping the Peace

Every time you stay silent when someone crosses a line, you teach them that your boundaries don’t matter. Every time you answer a question you don’t owe an answer to, you reinforce that you’re available for interrogation. Every time you stay at a table, in a friendship, or in a situation that makes you feel small, you chip away at your sense of self.

This isn’t about being dramatic or making a scene. This is about what happens inside you when you consistently choose other people’s comfort over your own dignity. You start to lose touch with what you actually think and feel. You begin to question your own judgment. You feel resentful but can’t quite name why. You’re tired in a way that sleep doesn’t fix.

And here’s the kicker: The people you’re trying to keep the peace with? They’re not even thinking about you half as much as you’re thinking about them. They’ve moved on. Meanwhile, you’re stuck replaying it on loop, beating yourself up for not handling it differently.

The “Quietly Quitting” Phenomenon (And It’s Not Just Marriages)

There’s been a lot of talk lately about women quietly quitting their marriages. The concept is this: instead of going through the complicated, expensive, emotionally draining process of divorce, some women just… check out. They stay legally married but live separate lives.

But here’s what’s really happening: Women aren’t just quietly quitting marriages. They’re quietly quitting friendships that don’t serve them. They’re quietly quitting family dynamics that exhaust them. They’re quietly quitting parts of their own lives. They show up physically but they’re gone emotionally. They go through the motions but they’ve stopped investing. They maintain the appearance of connection while feeling completely alone.

Many women think this is just what midlife looks like. They think this is acceptance or maturity or “picking your battles.” They don’t realize they’re not accepting anything—they’re just giving up in slow motion.

What It Means to Reclaim Your Power (Without Burning Bridges)

Here’s what reclaiming your power doesn’t mean: It doesn’t mean screaming at someone at Thanksgiving dinner. It doesn’t mean sending dramatic text messages. It doesn’t mean burning every bridge and cutting everyone off.

Reclaiming your power is actually much quieter and much more powerful than that. It means recognizing the moment when someone crosses a line and choosing not to engage. It means standing up from the table and walking away without explanation. It means saying “I don’t agree with that” in a calm voice and then changing the subject. It means declining invitations to events that drain you.

You can do all of this with grace. You can do all of this with kindness. You can do all of this without creating unnecessary drama or pain. The key is that you stop waiting for permission. You stop explaining yourself to people who aren’t interested in understanding. You start acting like someone who knows her worth—because you do.

The Year-End Reflection That Changes Everything

Here’s your assignment: Get out a piece of paper. At the top, write this question: Where did I give up my power this year?

Now write down every instance you can remember. The holiday gathering where someone made you uncomfortable. The friendship where you always accommodate and never receive. The work situation where you stayed silent. The family dynamic where you bit your tongue. Don’t judge yourself as you write. Just observe and record.

Then, for each item on your list, ask yourself: Why? Why did I stay? Why did I answer? Why didn’t I walk away? What was I afraid of? This isn’t about shame. This is about awareness. Because you can’t change a pattern you won’t acknowledge. The answers to these questions will tell you everything you need to know about where you need to focus your energy next year.

Moving Forward: Your Midlife Is Yours to Claim

You’ve spent decades accommodating others. Decades keeping the peace. Decades making yourself smaller so other people could be comfortable. That ends now.

Not because you’re angry or bitter or done with everyone. But because you finally understand that your peace matters as much as anyone else’s. Your boundaries matter. Your voice matters. And you get to decide where you spend your energy, who deserves your time, and which relationships earn your investment.

Start with one thing. One situation where you know you’re giving up your power. One relationship where you need a boundary. Maybe it’s deciding that at the next holiday gathering, you’ll excuse yourself from conversations that make you uncomfortable. Maybe it’s telling a friend that you can’t make every single event they invite you to. Whatever it is, choose one thing. Do it. See how it feels. Notice what happens. Then choose the next thing.

This is your midlife. This is your time. You’re not too old to start standing up for yourself. You’re actually the perfect age—old enough to know better, young enough to do something about it, and wise enough to do it with grace.

Your power has always been yours. You just forgot for a while. Now it’s time to take it back—one brave, quiet, graceful choice at a time.