As a midlife coach and podcast host, I’ve had countless conversations with women who feel stuck, uncertain, and afraid to take the next step in their personal or professional lives. Recently, I had the incredible opportunity to dive deep into this universal experience with Tess Masters, host of the “It Has to Be Me” podcast, and our conversation was nothing short of transformative.
Understanding the “It Has to Be Me” Philosophy
The core of our discussion centered on a powerful concept: the moment when you realize that only you can make the change you’ve been dreaming about. It’s not just a catchy phrase – it’s a life-changing mindset that can propel you from hesitation to action.
Many women in midlife find themselves at a crossroads. We’ve spent years fulfilling roles, meeting expectations, and often putting ourselves last. But there comes a pivotal moment when something inside us shifts. We realize that we have the power, wisdom, and experience to create the life we truly want.
Breaking Through Fear and Self-Doubt
Fear is the biggest obstacle most women face when considering a major life change. It’s that voice that whispers (or sometimes screams), “What if I fail?” “What will people think?” “Am I too old to start something new?”
The truth is, fear is normal. In fact, it’s a sign that you’re about to do something meaningful. The key is not to eliminate fear but to move forward despite it. Tess shared a powerful perspective: courage isn’t the absence of fear, but action in the presence of fear.
Discovering Your Midlife Superpowers
One of the most exciting aspects of midlife is recognizing your unique strengths. Often, our superpowers are the things that come so naturally to us that we don’t even recognize them as special. These are the skills, talents, and qualities that make you uniquely you.
Take time to reflect on what comes easily to you. Ask friends and colleagues what they appreciate most about you. These insights can be the foundation of your next big move, whether it’s a career change, a new business, or a personal passion project.
The Importance of Self-Love and Permission
At the heart of any transformative journey is self-love. This means giving yourself permission to want more, to be more, and to pursue your dreams – regardless of age or past limitations. It’s about understanding that you are worthy of your own time, investment, and belief.
Many women struggle with this concept. We’re taught to be caretakers, to put others first, to be modest about our achievements. But midlife is the perfect time to flip that script. You have decades of experience, wisdom, and resilience. It’s time to use them.
Practical Steps to Move Forward
If you’re feeling stuck, here are some actionable strategies:
1. Start small: Take one tiny step towards your goal each day.
2. Embrace possibility: Reframe “what if I fail?” to “what if I succeed?”
3. Build a supportive community: Surround yourself with people who believe in you.
4. Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a dear friend.
Reframing Midlife and Menopause
Contrary to popular belief, midlife isn’t a decline – it’s an invitation to claim your power. Menopause isn’t a limitation; it’s a transformation. This is a time when you can truly focus on yourself, your desires, and your potential.
You have more resources now than ever before – financial, emotional, and experiential. You know yourself better. You’ve learned from past experiences. You have a clearer understanding of what truly matters to you.
The “It Has to Be Me” Mindset
Ultimately, this journey is about recognizing that you are the protagonist of your own story. No one else can live your life for you. No one else has your unique combination of experiences, talents, and dreams.
Whether it’s starting a business, writing a book, traveling the world, or simply setting healthier boundaries – your “it has to be me” moment is waiting.
Final Thoughts
To every woman reading this: You are not too old. You are not too much. You are exactly where you need to be, with everything you need to take the next step.
Close your eyes. Listen to that whisper inside. What is it telling you? What has to be you?
Your midlife transformation starts now.
Tess Says: You’re Not Too F***ing Old! To do anything you want to do!
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